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Friday, 9 July 2010

Making up stories is fun..

I started an English course in September in order to get a decent grade and to improve my all round grammatical skills. We only have 2 weeks left and as our final piece of work we have all been given the same start of a story and asked to write an ending in our own style, using our imagination, keeping it short but having fun and going crazy.
Well of course I was very excited about this after all I love going crazy with my imagination and this was an exciting project. So here was the start.....

Anna was in the kitchen washing a head of lettuce for the family supper when the doorbell rang. The bell was on the wall directly above the sink and it never failed to make her jump if it rang when she happened to be near. For this reason, neither her husband nor any of the children ever used it. It seemed to ring extra loud this time and Anna jumped extra high.
When she opened the door, two policemen were standing outside. They looked at her out of pale, waxen faces and she looked back at them, waiting for them to say something.
She kept looking at them but they didn’t speak or move. They stood so still and rigid that they were like two wax figures somebody had put on her doorstep as a joke, each of them holding his helmet in front of him in his two hands.
“What is it?” questioned Anna.

And this is what I came up with...

The policemen were completely frozen. They looked down at the ground and then up at Anna in unison. They both stared her directly in the face.
“Are you Mrs Anna Mato?” said one of them very gravely.
“Yes replied Anna” looking completely calm but feeling ever so slightly nervous and starting to work up a sweat. “What appears to be the problem?”
“Do you work at the Iceberg Estate Agents? Employed by a Mr Larry Lettuce?”
“Yes” Replied Anna “But I’ve been on my annual leave for a week now so I haven’t been into the office. What’s been happening? Is everything alright?”
“Well that’s what we’re trying to work out for ourselves Mrs Mato. You see we had a phone call from a Miss Cherry, his secretary? She was in a terribly panicked state, she says he hasn’t been in the office all week and hasn’t even text her. As it appears he has no known next of kin to contact you were the next point of call on our list for information.
“Oh no, gosh how awful” exclaimed Anna “No, the last time I saw him he was in high spirits and said nothing about going away. Anna didn’t feel it was strictly lying as she remembered the last time she’d seen Larry......
In fact it had been a very strange evening in the office. Anna had agreed to stay behind late to file some paperwork. She’d been working at the estate agent for Larry Lettuce for four years now. When he threw her aside for Cherry, a younger tomato model leaving her on the shelf and on the dole, Anna was mad. And that’s why Larry had to go, off with his head, one for the shop!

Bah! That stupid Larry she thought, what a fool, so full of his own importance. He needs to be taken down a peg or two. This office aint big enough for the both of us and I’m going nowhere she seethed as she peered over the papers and watched him at his desk. Feet up, on the phone, laid back in his office chair, grinning from behind his dark shades whilst flirting with Cherry. He leaned over and slapped her cheekily on the bottom, she squealed and he winked at her before putting the phone down.
“Hey Cherry, you can go now honey. Anna will clear up; after all she’s not here next week so I’d better get her working.”
Well that was it. She looked at his smirking face, Larry you 95% water waste of space, you vacuous void, chop! Off with your head, you’re gonna get it you sleazy playboy. She delved deep into her handbag, slowly withdrawing her sharpest kitchen knife and smiling to herself as she caught her reflection glisten in the blade. She hid the knife in the pile of papers that she was sorting and carried them through to where he was sat. She walked past the window, stopped and looked out.
“Ooh Mr. Lettuce, Cherry is waiting by your car out there” she lied.
“She’s waiting for you to come and get her by the looks of things”
She smiled to herself as Larry leapt out of his chair like a Jack in the box and ran to the window looking even smugger than ever. He leaned towards the glass to try and get a look at his lust interest and that was Anna’s moment, the perfect opportunity. With the knife held firmly in her hand she went for the chop. Larry let out a howl and dropped instantly to the ground. His lifeless body lay there oozing a watery substance and Anna felt an instant relief.
She cleared up his soggy remains and bagged them up, bundling them into the car and driving home, fast!
“No I have absolutely no idea where he could be” she said
“I haven’t heard a thing from him, how awful!”
They spent a good 25 minutes discussing Larry and any possible leads before the policemen closed their notebooks, thanked Anna for her time and headed back off to the police station.
Anna closed the door behind them, took a deep breath and smiled to herself. Those potato policemen had no idea, haha the spud headed fools. So many eyes yet no vision, they saw nothing. She rubbed her tiny red hands together in glee and laughed to herself as she celebrated another lucky escape.
You see as you may already have guessed this is no ordinary tale set in an everyday town. Anna although a happy family woman by day is by night a crazed psycho who goes by the name of the vegetable soup killer, in fact Anna is a tomato living in vegetable town.
Life wasn’t always easy for Anna, you see when you’re a tomato you never get accepted by the vegetable community, the text books and boffins say that you are officially a fruit however you know that you fit in much better with the salad community and the discrimination is hard to live with. On every corner there was someone waiting to put her down and make her feel small. She was always paid minimum wage and the combination made her feel depressed.
In fact when she first moved to the land of produce she was feeling very low, after all she had no family left. It was a bad crop season and she was the only survivor. She needed a friend, any friend and that was the moment she met Don Leto the Sicilian lemon. She was alone in a bar, she’d been there all day when Don walked in and approached her. She liked the way he made her feel; he had a strength she admired. He seemed to understand how she felt. They talked for hours about his family in fruit city; she liked the homeliness about him and how they all lived together, the Leto family in one big home. They were well known in the community and nobody seemed to mess with them. Anna liked this; and when they offered her a home and a family she jumped at the chance. Little did she know the reason they were so well known and left well alone was that they were in fact the mob, the lemon Mafia. These guys were sick of being juiced and underappreciated as a fruit. They were bitter and felt Anna’s pain at the hand of vegetable town.
“Let’s squeeze the life out of them! Let’s soup em up!”

And that is how Anna had become the vegetable soup killer working in the unsuspecting vegetable community and slowly souping them up one by one. She decided on a job at the iceberg estate was the perfect place to plan whilst living a seemingly normal life. If only Larry hadn’t pushed her that step too far he would have been fine. She had already rid the land of a vast selection of bad guys from Barry the drug dealing marrow to Baz the carjacking carrot, and many more besides. The soup made would keep her family fed and watered for many years and whilst tasted great was a fantastic way to destroy the evidence. She didn’t see it as murder; she was cleaning up the streets.
She had married Del after a whirlwind romance; it was love at first sight really. She knew deep down the moment she laid eyes on him in that bar that they would be together forever. She loved Del and their large Mafioso family. The different generations living together under one roof, working together to make the world a better place for the lot of them.
She marched into the kitchen and smiled as she saw that wonderful lettuce head she had been preparing before the police had rudely interrupted her. Larry she sneered, I finally found a use for you, you arrogant void. Summer soup is on the menu!
She finished up and poured the soup into 15 bowls, setting warm crusty bread at the side of each one.
“Dinner time guys!” she called her family to the table.
They gathered round one by one Uncle Rocco Auntie Morello all the brothers and their little ones and Anna smiled whilst raising her glass.
“This one’s on Larry! So for what we are about to receive. Larry we are all very grateful.”

So guys...Whatcha reckon? My tutor said she does this exercise every term and she's had loads of different stories but she's NEVER had this scenario before! Haha I am surprised!!


out of the frame said...

I like it! - I guess the idea of food taking on human characteristics is more something that lovers of kawaii are likely to come up with.

Charlotte said...

love it! your little illustrations were fantastic! very clever and i especially like the part about the lemon mafia, bitter that the juice was always getting squeezed out of them. :)

MafiosaGrrl said...

i LOVE this soooo much!!

TracyC said...

Brilliant! I love the story, love the illustrations, love your amazing imagination.